The Supermarket

"I think he's love with her."
"Why?"
"What? Why?!" Sarah sputtered, "What do you mean Why?"
"Well what's wrong with him?" Helen asked.

Sarah exhaled and pivoted as an older gentleman bustled past her with a trolley. Getting Helen in one place and engaging in conversation had been much harder than it should have been. The older woman had evaded all attempts at contact and was insistent that her life was far too hectic to manage minor quibbles between grown adults.

In the end Sarah had no choice but escort Helen to the supermarket. Not a supermarket as such, a 'hypermart' on the outskirts of the city. Helen was on her way out of her front door when Sarah arrived. Helen simply didn't have the energy to argue at that moment. They had to be quick as the kids would be back from the grandparents in an hour. Sarah didn't want to have this discussion in an environment where they could easily be overheard but then again Helen hadn't given her a choice.

Be firm, be confident. Accept what you can't control and make the best of a shitty situation.

"Did she ever mention a ghost to you?" Sarah asked as Helen grasped tomatoes in each hand and returned them to the shelf and then looked studied the selection carefully before taking the same two tomatoes in her hands again.
Helen grunted, it wasn't a word, it barely constituted a response.
Sarah wanted to nudge her, grab her by the shoulders and demand that Helen give her undivided attention to what she was saying.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I've got more important things going on right now Sarah. I'm sorry, I have to feed my family, my children and that is getting in the way of your ridiculous enquiries. I'm sorry you can't solve your own problems without running to me and begging me for my input. I can't do anything anyway. I am an ignorant and rude selfish woman."

Maybe she wouldn't say it in so many words, Sarah considered.

Helen replaced the tomatoes and pushed the trolley away. Whatever calculation had struck her had been abandoned. Sarah followed her keeping in step and several paces behind. The inclination to assist had been dashed when Sarah had thrown a head of lettuce in the trolley out of habit and Helen had glowered at her. No words were spoken, Sarah had simply removed the lettuce and placed it back on the shelf and kept her head lowered. If Helen wanted lettuce to make salads or to go in a sandwich then it was her decision, she had not asked for Sarah's help in her shopping.

"Helen?" Sarah asked softly but felt that her voice had been drowned out by the general noise of the cavernous warehouse around them. The shuffling of feet, the shifting of trolleys and the general cacophony of conversations taking place around them melding together to create a din of echoes. Everything sounded the same and everyone looked the same, they all had the same expression of fatigue and disinterest pasted onto their faces.

Sarah felt that being at the supermarket without any intent of buying anything was an anathema. She felt exposed and out of place but this was her first opportunity to speak to Helen in what felt like an age. She continued to shuffle behind Helen like a child who had been advised to stay close with no further instructions on what to do.

You are a strong vibrant woman. A smile goes a long way. Always remember to eat your vegetables.

Sarah shook her head. Her platitudes were losing their effectiveness. Action was required.
"Did she ever tell you about losing a load of money?" Sarah asked tentatively.
When Donovan had told her about the 'ghost' Sarah had been confused. It had happened 'before her time'. Imagining a world in which her 'associate' existed without a connection to Sarah and Helen and the business they had created together unsettled her Sarah. But then again, had this been before Helen? How did this fit into what Sarah's understanding? The curiosity Sarah felt was unnerving but insatiable.

"Money, yes." Helen mumbled, "If they try and give you a cheque again tell them to fuck off back to the stone age. I mean seriously."
Helen looked intently at the large signs dangling from the ceiling denoting the aisle numbers and their contents in brief lists. She seemed to have stopped putting things in her trolley and was looking for one specific thing. She she seemed to think whatever it was could be divined from looking up to the heavens.

Sarah recalled her mother used to take her to do the food shop and let her sit in the trolley with the shopping list. They would always arrive twenty minutes before closing and they would race around the aisles with ruthless efficiency. The first port of call was picking up the fruit and veg which were due to be thrown out and had been reduced in price at the end of the day. The baker's section and the fresh meat would have similar offers but the meat was a especially rare. It was a great day if her mum to could get away with a whole cooked chicken for half the original price. Then there were designated shelves in hidden corners of the shop which had an unorganised mound of reduced items with bright stickers attached to them.

Sarah spent her adult life feeling incredibly guilty if she bought anything, food, clothes or basic amenities, at full price. It was a pang in her stomach and the image of her mother looking disappointed in her.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be. The greatest wealth is to live content with little. 

"This is clearly a bad time." Sarah said as Helen barely even looked at the dairy aisle as she raced along it.
"For fucksake Sarah!" Helen skidded to a halt and turned to look at the younger woman. "Glyn usually does this and he's not here. I need to fucking do this and I have no clue what I am doing here. I used to know how do these things..." Helen exhaled through her teeth loudly.
"What happened to Glyn?" Sarah asked, she couldn't hide her shock.

Helen and Glyn had been married for four years and seemed so solid and happy. He had been a father to Helen's two little girls from her first marriage and they had a baby together. He had supported Helen in her career and been a pillar of strength for her. From the outside looking in they were a perfect family. If something had happened to Glyn Helen's whole world would fall apart. Sarah felt an ache of pain at the prospect. Glyn was the nicest person in the world, a primary school teacher with kind eyes and a penchant from woollen jumpers.

Helen kicked the trolley, her knuckles were white from gripping the handlebar. Her teeth were clenched and her eyes were squeezed shut.
"Come on." Sarah placed her hand on Helen's arm, the tension dissolved as she was led away. The trolley was abandoned, it had a cucumber and a pineapple lolling in the bottom of it.

They sat together in the front seat of Helen's car.
"He found out." Helen said.
Sarah jolted with fear, she could feel her skin prickle and a sharp throbbing erupt within her skull.

The ground hasn't swallowed you whole. You still have all of your limbs and faculties. Sunsets are still pretty.

"He found out about the affair." Helen said solemnly.
"Oh no..." Sarah could barely muster the creativity to mask her relief. She reached out to take Helen's hand as it rested near the gear-stick but Helen snatched it away.

"He hasn't left he's just..." Helen's eyes were leaking with an uncontrollable flow of tears, she was breathing heavily and staring straight ahead. "He's just doing this to me. Some kind of protest. He's not doing the housework, or the cooking or the fucking shopping and I have to and I... I can't do this!"

Sarah made a reassuring hushing noise trying to diffuse the situation without saying any actual words. Helen was bristling and making guttural noises as she continued to leak from her eyes. Sarah fumbled with the glove compartment trying to find something to staunch the flow.

"How did this fucking happen?" Helen cried furiously. "Why is he doing this to me?"
Sarah felt that the obvious answers were better left unsaid. In fact answers were not what Helen needed right now, at least not the ones that Sarah could not provide.

Success struck as Sarah's purse produced a bundle of napkins. She had stolen them from a fast food place she had eaten at a few days previously. It was force of habit to help herself to a wedge of napkins and use them at home when she inevitably ordered takeaway or in place of kitchen towels. They were made of flimsy cheap paper but Helen took them with an appreciative grunt.

It was Helen's car so she was sitting in the driver's seat. Sarah didn't know how to drive but she felt that she should at least offer. Helen was in no fit state to drive herself home. Then again the older woman might feel compelled to go and have another go at her shopping expedition.

"Here's an idea." Sarah said trying her best not to sound too bright, "Let's get you home. We can put the kettle on and we'll write a shopping list. The kids will come home from the grandparents and I can watch them and then maybe we can try again later."
Helen's head collided with the steering wheel and the car let out an embarrassed wail. Sarah wasn't sure what to do, her hand patted the back of Helen's head of ruby red hair in a 'there, there' motion.