Friday 15 November 2013

Thor 2: The Dark World

Expect venom. The biggest insult to this film, I spent the whole film wondering what happened in Hollywood that all the big villains in the comic book, sci-fi universe are pale creepy Prometheus like individuals, they are all too similar, too boring, whoever thought they looked scary or interesting were clearly mistaken, it's been done, think of some interesting creature/bad guy designs, someone somewhere! Then at the end of the film I saw Christopher Eccleston's name pop up on the screen as key bad guy and I felt like hurling my shoe at the screen. That was the most pointless role I've ever seen ever in a film and it was Christopher Eccleston? The ninth doctor? A damn fine actor elevating most material he is given to a higher level of authentic awesome, I didn't recognise him and he was white noise in a film that was mostly explosions and nonsense.

I'm growing fatigued with the comic book universe bleeding into cinema. The Avengers, which I won't lie was a good film, but not the best film ever as most people assume, we spent way too long on that floating fortress... Pacing was a bit off in my eyes, it was a good film, it just wasn't the best. At this point most comic book films aren't even trying to be amazing, it's like they take a bunch of elements, stick them in a blender and churn out nonsense. There is nothing interesting going on! Specifically in Thor 2. There are explosions and fight scenes but... I could wash the plot off in the shower and forget every important plot point, not that there were many significant ones to start with...

There's a bunch of dark elves, they possessed the Aether but then lost it when they tried to use it to destroy all the planes of existence which 'converged' at a point in time, and coincidentally are on the verge of doing so again in this film, so it's handy that the Aether is inadvertently discovered by Natalie Portman who is whisked away by Thor and then the chase ensues... Oh good God! Natalie Portman. I feel so bad for her having this much shit to put up with; the film wants us to believe that her character and Thor have some epic love thing going on, but I don't think I've ever seen less chemistry between two actors in my life, it's painfully awkward watching them together. Also, Chris Hemsworth has very little to do apart from at certain points smile with that effortless charming manner, and say something rousing, and smash things with his hammer... If Chris Hemsworth is topless or charming in a film he is essentially earning his pay, he doesn't need to do anything else, and a lot of the time in this film he barely registers as charming, and there is about twenty seconds of him with his top off for no real reason at all except, hey ladies, there it is, look at those bulging muscles... I want my money back... not that I paid for the tickets at the cinema I work at...

Speaking of which, the entire mediocrity of this film is just painful, who genuinely sat back and thought, as a product, this was the best thing they could produce with what they had? Even London couldn't be bothered to make an effort and have decent weather, it was cloudy and overcast and although I chortled at the fact that it was showing London for it's normal manner, which is dreary wet weather, it just felt limp and wet, like the weather...

Loki, well he just about elevates this movie from utter rubbish to at least remotely watchable for each scene he is involved in, at least there is some level of intrigue going on there. You never can tell where Loki stands and he is such a tricky devil that at least there is something going on under the surface. Apart from moving the plot along, most characters can't even muster any energy than to be simple plot devices. Although, Idris Elba is a pretty damn good mover and shaker, he has some fun scenes, specifically just to show how much of a badass he is. Unfortunately scenes with Tom Hiddleston and Idris Elba are few and far between and there are battles to be fought and nonsense to be spouted, it's all just a stretch too far.

This film was boring.

Monday 11 November 2013

Gravity

Two films in two days, how crazy is that? They each couldn't be further from one another, this is a big Hollywood, huge budget, high concept, top drawer actors, amazing film. Most importantly it has a much shorter running time than my previous cinematic endeavour, this is too it's credit and a little bit worrisome.

My immediate reaction to Gravity was the fact that the first act of the film is mind-blowing, then it seems to change gears and move on to a still extraordinary film but the set up didn't quite match the pay off. That's just how I feel about it I guess. Don't get me wrong, stylistically it's a beautiful film to watch, the visual flourishes and space-scapes are just amazing, heart in your mouth gorgeous, especially in 3D. But you really can't top the opening sequence of the space craft introducing the astronauts, and then the onslaught of debris smashing everything to kingdom come, then the time spent with Sandra Bullock character as she composes herself from the disaster. It's just a great sequence of events and shot beautifully and I felt genuinely nauseous being spun around in space.

The two core players in the film were George Clooney and Sandra Bullock, the shiniest stars in the sky bobbing about showing us their skill. I doubt I will ever be lost in space, but godamn if I was lost in space with anyone on earth, I would want to be lost in space with George Clooney. Clearly his character has been specifically designed to be a confident affable presence to the less sociable 'deeper' Sandra Bullock, the stoic female with a chip on her shoulder. It's a role that George Clooney is pretty much ideal to play, he's sassy, has a story for every occasion and makes a supreme effort to distract us from impending doom, which is great because we need Clooney to lighten the mood. Sure Clooney is good in some roles, i.e. the stoic cool guy role, but here he works just great and provides some light relief from the terror. We also have Sandra Bullock, we gradually strip down her character to her undies floating around in space, to her core, the film tries to make some effort to make her personal journey touching and revealing and we learn about her as we follow her through her ordeal. I'm not sure if it's her lack of oxygen but she does act quite insane during several moments, barking at some chinese guy over the radio, turning off the oxygen and deciding to pack in all together, she even goes as far as hallucinating, then talking to unseen dead people and referencing the afterlife and prayer, it's all very worrisome at some points but it moves the story along and obviously gives us a point of entry to empathise and understand her as a person. It could have worked but hey, I wasn't feeling it, needless to say Sandra Bullock will most definitely receive an Oscar nomination for her work in the film because it's great, what she does, I wasn't especially blown away by her performance but I can understand that what she did was great and deserves recognition. If that makes sense... plus I love Clooney, he's a great dude in general, I do believe his talent doesn't specifically lie in acting as such but everything else he does always interests me greatly.

Gravity as a whole, a great film. It evoked Space Odyssey 2001, and there was a distinct feel of when FFVIII tried to evoke that same sensation by needlessly setting a chunk of the game in space just so we could to into space and roam around in space suits because there is something about space that really tugs at the imagination in a unique way. Most importantly there is a scene where you just see a suit floating away endlessly in space and I recalled 'losing Rinoa in space forever.' and bellowing at my television screen with rage and fury. I was eleven years old and I couldn't get her to float into my damn arms...

In space, no one can hear you scream! (According to the Alien by-line) And there's much to be afraid of, up there in the big black emptiness with Earth serenely turning below... There's the soundlessness, the fear of dying in space is quite horrifying one, alone, no one to find you, take you home, remember you, be there for you, it's all a very frightening prospect and Gravity does a great job of conveying this. But, as with most Hollywood films, there comes a point where a protagonist can only defy death so many times until it becomes more irritating and than thrilling, if I assume I were a trained cosmonaut, I know I would have died several times... It just sours the whole experience when you're thrown into peril and know you're going to survive. And hell surviving against all odds is a hell of a story to tell, as Bullock states, but it's also incredibly predictable... Did I want everyone to die? No, not really... It wouldn't have been a good film if we weren't faced with endless obstacles to overcome... I guess it's just not my kind of film. I went in with low expectations, I came out with those expectations met, it was a gorgeous film and the set up was great, the last hour was just good. I know it'll be a well talked about film for years to come and Alfonso Cuaron is one hell of a director, so there you have it!

Sunday 10 November 2013

Blue is the Warmest Colour

So, I have failed to write on here in a long while, mostly because the films I have dragged myself to see have been... A mixed bag. I thought Rush, which will most likely pick up Award buzz for a) being directed by Ron Howard b) being historical and c) for being a by the numbers tale of a complex male rivalry (which wasn't all that complex but it made out like it was because of all the shit they went through...) Then I saw Filth which flat out left me speechless. I really desperately wanted to write a blog about it and godamnit given the time I would because it's by far one of the best films I've seen this year but that's for another time.

This brings me to Blue which had an immediate impact on me as I left the cinema which was, 'Oh thank Christ that is over.' It's a French Arthouse film, winner of the Cannes Palm d'Or and is basically a very talked film, why? Lesbians. Also, my place of work was not showing it during the Leeds Film Festival and my curiosity was piqued because, hell, it sounded intriguing. I don't mind foreign films in the slightest, I've watched plenty, I watched Goodbye Lenin! the other night because it's a damn good film and I love seeing Daniel Bruhl be all young and wide eyed...

To my point! Lesbians.

My main complaint through this film, and it's going to make me sound like a right idiot, but I am someone who samples all aspects of culture, so bear with me here. The lead role was Adele played by a lovely French girl called Adele (completely illegible surname.) She spent most of the film either crying or with a half morose half blank face, I really don't want to say gormless but this was the thought I had. What really irritated me was the fact she essentially looked like a slightly prettier Charlotte from Geordie Shore. All of credibility has slipped away I know... But damn, there was the same glazed over expression, the same incapability of shutting her mouth, if she'd started getting completely over the top drunk and pissing in sinks I would have remained completely nonplussed. Fortunately Adele is very much French and is experiencing the trials and tribulations of young love and discovering herself, except we don't really see her discover in so much as, she has a lesbian relationship, she has flirtations with a couple of dudes, but we don't see how the effects of this and where this leaves her at the end of the film. At the end of a three hour film I would expect some godamn closure and not endless shots of her eating spag-bol and feeling sorry for herself. But hey, this is an arthouse film, I know this, I knew what I was letting myself in for...

Her female lover, Lea Seydoux had much more of a screen presence, but she had more to work with, she was an intelligent self-aware artist and was comfortable in her own skin, flirtatious confident and a whole mess of other things which made her far more interesting to watch, but we spend most of our time with the lost little girl, poor Adele.

The film is essentially their relationship, it's a lesbian relationship, it's between two people who have an attraction to each other, fall in love, move in together, immerse lives, and inevitably break up and struggle to move on. I get that everyone goes through the same shit, and I never assumed that lesbians were any different to anyone else when it comes to that, but trying to hang a film around the basic premise is all well and good but there isn't much else holding it up.

One thing that irked me was the timing in the film, it starts with Adele's burgeoning romance in school with a dude, then there's the beginning of her lesbian tendencies, then she's moved in and house-making with Emma and a teacher (which is briefly mentioned earlier would take a master, so that university plus another year, plus the time it takes to fall into a decent job at a school so five years minimum...) then there's the time after that where it's briefly mentioned three years have passed. Don't drag out the old prosthetics just yet, but Adele barely aged a day from nubile 17 year old to depressed/grumpy school teacher. The film doesn't put up any distinct road signs as to how much time has passed but a little help would have been appreciated, especially considering how LONG THE FILM IS! The time spent watching not a whole lot happened could have had some inane conversation like, 'Oh, don't you two girls make a delightful couple, how long have you been going out?' or something like 'Hey, you dyed your hair blonde, when did that happen?' No reason as to why, perhaps she just matured or grew up or whatever, it's just ignored completely, but the colour 'blue' plays a big part in the film, for no other reason than it's the colour of Emma's hair when they meet. Also there's a lot of time spent at school talking about stuff which I assume was supposed to tie in with the story, I picked up on the 'Love at first sight' snippet which was followed by Adele spotting Emma on the street one day but the rest went over my ignorant head. Then there was the party where the silent film in the background was essentially playing out the scene but with funnier actors behind them... Apart from that the cleverness, if there was any in this film was lost on me.

It's the same with heterosexual couples, their love lives are the same but unless it's a high concept rom-com there has to be more going on than just the standard aches and pains we all suffer. Blue tries to incorporate the pains of growing up, the comparisons of repressed families (Adele's) and more open families (Emma's) and then there's the fact that although these two women have an intense sexual relationship (trust me I'm getting to that...) they don't have as much in common as they would like. Adele is young and naive, she doesn't look into anything deeply, she becomes a primary school teacher and spends her days with children who don't have to think past their ABCs and she doesn't try to excel herself to be anything more. Emma is ambitious and ruthless with her vision, surrounds herself with intelligent creative people and tries to encourage Adele to further herself creatively and push herself in more learned pursuits. Emma prioritises her creative pursuits, Adele plays home-maker and teacher and not much else becomes lonely and insecure. She's young so she throws herself at someone who gives her the slightest hint of attention. It all falls apart. These things happen, but there's a lot of sitting around, watching spaghetti bolognese be eaten and pretentious conversations between artsy types, and then just to mix it up, watching five years old act adorable. It's a messy overly long film but at it's heart, I think... I think! It's trying to say that growing up is shit and lesbians go through the same shit as everyone - neither of which were remotely surprising, but hey there aren't many films that put a female/female relationship at the forefront; that in itself should be applauded and I appreciate that the film maker didn't shy from trying to present that on the screen, in the cinema, to essentially be watched by a bunch of artsy film types and people wanting to see some lesbian sex.

Which brings me to the lesbian sex scenes. They were beautifully shot, uhhh, creatively... Nope, I'm done. My main thought whilst watching those beautiful naked women scissor each other was, straight couples don't get this much done in the films I watch, and they don't go on this long unless it's well... Porn... Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate that the film was trying to represent how much chemistry this pair had, how well they connected physically in as many positions as they were capable of, but... Damn... If it was Adele's first time at lesbian sex I was half expecting it to be at least slightly more awkward, I want to say realistic, it's a coming of age film, it was her first time, but nope, they just went for it... It just really felt like very well lit, very well shot, lesbian porn. And it went on for ages! The cinema I was in were collectively fatigued, when you thought they were slowing down, nope they whipped into a 69 position... Oh are they.... nope! Did this provide us with an honest intimate female/female love scene? No, it didn't, it didn't feel authentic or realistic, it just felt like over the top porn, not sex between two lovers for the first time.* Also, there was a moment in the cafe where I was very concerned that, sure they were having their intense moment but, damn, wasn't anyone watching? Not that they were bothered but still. Everyone in the cinema laughed as the camera panned around at the end of the scene and there was a shot of two women watching unimpressed. Well that was the most fun the film had so I had to give it to them.

So there it is... My uneducated unbiased opinion on Blue is the Warmest Colour. A film about a woman coming of age over a few years, loving a lesbian, not quite being sure what she is herself, but thanks to her vacuous expressions and lack of any real storytelling, we'll never quite know who she is, but she doesn't close her mouth when she's sleeping. I genuinely don't care if that makes me an idiot... Go watching Blue Jasmine instead. Or even better, Goodbye Lenin! There's a good foreign film with an interesting premise.

*I feel I should point out that the female actresses were unhappy with the way the film was shot and embarrassed and had received little direction during the sex scene. Although during the rest of the shoot the director shouted and forced them to do scenes over and over until they were emotionally exhausted. After a point I just felt kind of bad for them. In the sex scene they were given little to no direction and to have long filming days simulating sex without any choreography much have been so awkward... plus from what I've heard of the director he sounds like a monster and treated them terribly so I wish them every success in the future and I'm relieved I'm no where near attractive enough or talented enough to be an actor. Huzzah!