Life of Pi

Here's a film I should be able to get my teeth into, it's film about a question of faith, it's a parable about choice. It's based on the book written by Yann Martell. I have the book on my shelf, I'm more eager than ever to read it but I keep getting distracted. I've seen a few films now where the book is on my shelf gathering dust, I will get round to reading it, honest! Reading is just something I never find the time to sit down and do. When I do have the time I'll read obsessively for a week or so then stop until I find time again, it's cyclical. Another cyclical thing in my life would be attitude to faith, it's probably a good place to start, this will be self-indulgence, skip ahead by all means.

Born and raised a Roman Catholic, went to secondary school built around a convent, taught by a selection of nuns and teachers, had a headmistress in a habit and used to read from the Bible to us, had to start every lesson with the 'Hail Mary' and went to church every Sunday. When you're a child you don't question things like religion as you never realise it's a choice until a drunken uncle points it out to you, being indoctrinated as I was, I never stopped to think that at some point in the past a bunch of bearded men wrote the Bible as a story, in fact a whole massive mess of them wrote a bunch of books decades/centuries apart and at some point certain bits were selected and meshed together to make the Bible. It never occurred to me that it was a story, when I hurtled through my teen years it became something I began to read about and learn about it. It was after my grandmother died I went through a 'crisis of faith', it's something that seemed really significant, I'd lost God, God had abandoned me in my time of need, that feeling of certainty had been rocked*. Anyways, this went on for a few years and I started reading when I went through a period of not having any friends... I really loved the mythology of angels for the longest time. Getting to the point, it became apparent that faith is a decision, it's not something that can be forced, it's not something you are born with, it's just something you have to figure out on your own. I know, I know faith is different to religion, but it's still a choice. Most people don't even do that nowadays, they just disregard it as archaic and ephemeral aspect of life, science has plugged a lot of gaps in our knowledge which religion used to fill and the universe has been explained to us, the human body has been explained to us and the whole of creation has a history now that has nothing to do with the divine. As ever there are things science can't answer, so we still cling to those unsolved riddles of existence by acknowledging religion but at the end of the day most can do without.

I came to my own decision, made my own story. I decided that something close to God did exist, long ago, He gave us that spark of conciousness, that wisp of a soul, the trick of science which lead us to feel alone in this giant universe. That, to me, it the work of God, and God gave us that, he gave us life and the ability to think and feel, but that took the whole of His power and now he's asleep, or he died giving us that, whatever, he's not here, he's not watching over us, he can't be. That's my belief, it's not something I want to debate, it just is what it is. I believe in religion to a degree, Catholicism, for all it's faults still excites some degree of religious fervour in me, but deep down I believe that whatever higher power brought us to this point is no longer watching over us, or hasn't for along time. That's my choice.

Which brings us to Life of Pi, the entire point of the film, or at least the message the film is giving us, is that religion/faith is a choice. The film presents you with a choice at the end and it's up to you to decide what you believe, that in itself is profound. My partner mentioned that I usually walk out of a film blabbering on and on, especially if I liked it, but this time, today, I was quite quiet. The question of religion always brings out a different side to me, I get really quite emotional about it, I get emotional about a lot of things but this is an untapped well. People don't really talk about faith or religion in the day to day. But the film is worth seeing not only because it asks you an intriguing question, not one oft asked in the cinema during this festive period, but because it's a visual masterpiece. It doesn't matter what your reason is behind your answer to the question posed, it just matters that the film made you consider it, and that's significant I think.

If someone asked me whether or not to see Life of Pi, I would demand they immediately went and saw it because nothing will quite take your breath away quite like this film. It's literally stunning, all the adverts keep showing is that damn whale throwing itself through the sky but the quieter less ostentatious moments really shone in this film. It's just visually amazing to see, the whole film gleamed like a big shiny bauble full of colour and excitement. There wasn't a point where I felt bored and uninterested, I was rapt throughout, perhaps my attention span is getting better these days. Did I mention what it was about? Oh damnit... Let's get to that very quickly then so I can ramble more about it.

A man is recounting his past to Rafe Spall (he's been getting a lot of big movie roles lately, I can count off seeing him in the cinema 3 times now!) The story goes he basically, boy named Pi, moves from India on Japanese boat to Canada with zoo animals aboard and family. Boat sinks, boy has to survive on lifeboat with coyote, orang-utan, a zebra with a broken leg and a Bengal tiger, the story goes that it's the boy and tiger stranded in the ocean on a lifeboat, alone together in the end. Obviously he survives to tell the tale, but there are two versions of the tale. The other involves human survivors from the ship sharing the life boat and it ending with the boy and alone. Clearly there are some deaths along the way. Sounds pretty boring but the visuals are stunning and the interactions with the tiger are just perfectly on the margin of believable and heart breaking. Did I mention it was a beautiful film? Reflections play a massive part in the film. Pi's father told him that animals don't feel the same as us, it's our emotions reflected in their eyes, throughout the film there are brief moments where the sea is completely calm and still and it's all endless sea or stars. Pi has a lot of time to reflect as he does battle with the elements and himself and mostly the tiger to survive, that's what the film essentially is, a reflection on life. An exciting beautiful reflection, or at least that's how I'm describing it, I'm being broad and nice about it.

The integral part of the film is, that without Richard Parker** he would not have survived. It's up to you if the boy needed a tiger to survive or his own strength of will? Or if he imagined the tale about the tiger to protect himself from the truth, he was alone with only his strength and mind. In my mind, I can't believe he would have survived alone, what's most important is not losing hope and the tiger being there was hope, at least that's what I thought. Loneliness can kill, and the will to survive was because he had Richard Parker's company to keep him going. So that's my small theory on it.


This is a film which made me relieved, relief that I fervently wanted to believe more than anything that the Tiger had existed, that such things are possible. Go figure, I felt something, faith, it was a warm feeling. That's what I took from it, I would want more people to do the same and take from it something, anything, because I reckon it's a film that'll stay with you, as it will me.

*I always prayed when I need help and this time it didn't help. It just made me feel alone.
**The Tiger's name, a name synonymous with ship wrecks in 19th Century it would seem.

Listing

So I figured if I could list my top ten Community episodes, and I do spend a fair bit of time criticising films on this blog, I should list my favourite films. The list is in a constant flux, it's not so much something that I rank as much as there is a list and the number one constantly changes. It used to be the same as my favourite Final Fantasy, it would change each time I played any game, I would fall in love all over again and depending on which game I was in the middle of playing, that would be my favourite. Just to clarify over the years it has become abundantly apparent that the ninth instalment of Final Fantasy is by far my favourite, I know that game more intimately than anything I've ever experienced. So with my favourite film it largely depends on which I've watched most recently as to which would be my favourite overall, my number one, the one I would tell people if a quick-fire conversation resulted in a favourite film question.

I've noticed whilst compiling this list, there are a few outliers but overall I would say I'm a quirky romance fan, not a rom-com fan, there has to be a bit more to the film, I'm relieved to find I'm a romantic at heart. Sometimes I surprise even myself so hey I have learnt something today as well, sharing is caring I've been told. Also my old chum Charlie Kaufman seems to feature heavily in the list, let's give the man a hand, he really does write films in a unique and mind bending way and his best works are when he teams up with a visually creative director, I give you Spike Jonze and Michel Gondry, combined they make amazing movies well worth compulsory viewing for all film fans. Unfortunately Kaufman's solo project 'Synechdoche New York' was something I took my, then relatively new, boyfriend to see and we both spent the hours during and after scratching our heads. It was more an ideas film and, as most films I love do, it took itself far too seriously and it's message was somewhat lost on me. The events that took place required more suspension of disbelief than I was willing to allow, it was all just too bizarre, too unrealistic, too alien a concept for me. Perhaps I'll watch it again some day but at the time I was sorely disappointed with the wasted Catherine Keener and I spent most of the film imagining turning Philip Seymour Hoffman into a human pin cushion, that was possibly the only satisfying aspect of watching it...So needless to say, that won't feature in my list, someday I might realise it's genius but for now I'm happy to acknowledge it as something I quite simply did not get.

So this took a lot longer to write than I anticipated, it's been about two weeks since I started writing it and the list has gone through numerous iterations, these are the ones I've settled on. Obviously looking through there was more to said for some than others but they all stand to be named my favourite films; it's gotten to the point now where I've given up editing and deleting certain statements and tinkering with my opinions... I've never had such an instance where I've written so many compliments, so many superlatives, so much love in one go, quite a new experience for me. It's been harder work than I expected, it's rare that I list things as I see it as a waste of time but knowing what my favourite films are and acknowledging my unbridled affection for them has been quite enjoyable. Go figure, I might do more lists in the future. Oh and I didn't number them, there is no order here, just chaotic cinematic enjoyment.

Being John Malkovich

So this was a film I inadvertently watched one night whilst channel surfing and landed upon some guy getting punched in the face for enacting a lewd puppet show in the street. It was odd but for some reason, perhaps my sleep deprived reasoning, I thought it looked like a fun film. So I continued and discovered that the odd puppet scene wasn't the most bizarre thing that happened in this film, as soon as Octavia Spencer helped pry open the lift on floor 7 1/2 the film continued to get better and better. God, do you ever wish you could watch your favourite film for the first time again? This is a film which constantly surprised, amused and entertained and I only wish I could have the pleasure of being surprised again, literally it's something that rarely happens in films, there is always a logic, a well versed sequence of events, this film just does whatever the hell it wants and doesn't need anything more than your rapt attention.The unsurpassed Catherine Keener, the uglied Cameron Diaz, John Fucking Malkovich! All providing roles which were different and yet still entertaining, it must have taken me about half an hour to realise that frizzy haired girl was Cameron Diaz, the days when she was young and effortlessly beautiful... So long ago... This was also Spike Jonze directorial debut having mainly specialised in awesome music videos before this, the screenplay was my bud Charlie Kaufman, together they made a visually mind-bending amazing piece of cinema. As I mentioned previously, for Kaufman's ideas to translate to screen successfully he needs a director with visual flair and an uninhibited imagination, it's not quite the dizzying heights of Michel Gondry but there is a fun and entertaining way Jonze uses the camera to convey certain scenes. It never ceases to entertain me in it's audacious insanity and just how much fun a film can be when its clawing around under your skin and taking over your soul. Kaufman as always takes the opportunity to plumb some deep and philosophical questions, the reality of self, the possibility of a soul, the quest for immortality and wraps it around the profession of a puppeteer. There's a bit of food for thought there, but the characters, and you the viewer, are too busy being dragged along by the events to pause to think until the last scene when you suddenly stop and think. The end always gives me chills, I love a pessimistic ending, even if this one is disturbing for so many reasons.

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind

This battles for the number one spot in my heart, in fact this is the film I would respond with as my favourite film ever over and over again. It used to be a battle between that and Lost in Translation, this one won out more times that not due to time shading my opinions on the components of Translation, Bill Murray kept it near the top though. More about this film, this is essentially Charlie Kaufman writing a romance film, it's heartbreakingly realistic and yet somewhat fairytale in the fact that the core premise of the film is two lovers go to and have their memories erased of one another, but in true fairy tale fashion they realise that even though their relationship decayed, as many do, they still love one another deep down and find themselves being tugged back together unconsciously. They aren't perfect but they make each other so happy and that happiness and love is worth the decay and disappointment that comes with a long term relationship, it's worth it because there is a deep connection, an understanding and sometimes a lack of, over time this leads to resentment but when it's good, it was amazing. It's love. I can't describe enough how much I adore this film from the soundtrack to the cinematography (and godamnit I hate that word...) to the small minute details that make watching it over and over again so satisfying. We can thank Michel Gondry for the visual quirks of the film which make it so beautiful, this is my favourite Kaufman film because of it's beating heart but it wouldn't be anywhere near as touching if it wasn't for the wordless visual notes throughout. It's quite a sight to behold to watch memories as they decay, and of course when desperation leads Joel trying to salvage his love for Clementine by searching his own mind looking for inventive places to hide her, to keep her. It's a beautiful breathtaking film and the sentiment is so heartbreakingly true. This can all be put down the imaginative and always inventive directing of Michel Gondry, this man is officially one of the most creative beings in film in this day and age, he has such an unsurpassed visual flair, it's pared down in this particular outing but it works to great effect with Kaufman's screenplay, the story itself is steeped in true sentiment whereas visually it's fun and a bit bizarre at times but never too outrageous (although it can be weird there is a logic to it...) where the film lacks in humour it more than makes up for in what it shows you. Michel Gondry excels at bizarre yet memorable imagery and with the beating heart of the film making you feel something it's unique that the visuals also manage to create an indelible impression. It's such a good film even the periphery players get something to do, Kirsten Dunst and Mark Ruffalo have a bit of fun, Elijah Wood playing a suitably creepy pathetic character and Tom Wilkinson doing us all a favour and being fantastic as always. Let's not forget the leads, Kate Winslet in my favourite role of hers to date, she was Oscar Nommed for this and didn't win, a travesty and the only serious Jim Carey role in which he really shone and behaved like a believable human being, there are still some uniquely Jim Carrey moments no other actor could pull off but he is just so different, so vulnerable, so human. I could spend all day gushing about this film so I won't. It's perfection and it's deep down in my heart of hearts, my favourite film. But shhh...

Casino Royale

So, this blog is fully aware of my love of Mr James Bond. In many years to come my perceptions of the Bond films might change, Skyfall was an incredible film by any standard but it has come to Casino Royale to be placed in my favourite film list. I could watch this over and over and still be entertained. Perhaps it's the beguiling Eva Green and her bewitching eyes, perhaps it's the whole fun of watching a poker game among the most rich and powerful cartoonish men in the world, perhaps it's seeing Bond as a brash start out bulldozing his way through, perhaps it's the finale taking place in Venice the most beautiful city I have ever had the joy of visiting and rambling through, so many reasons... It did what it set out to do, it created a new legacy, a new start, and introduced a new Bond, the unsurpassable Daniel Craig. Those chipped ice blue eyes, that manly physique, the fact that he can wear a dinner jacket and look so incredibly dashing but also be rough and ready for an action sequence. Bah. I could spend forever ranting about why I love this film, it's a thrill ride of excitement and it's awesome, I could watch it repeatedly, forever. It doesn't need much more said to be honest, if you've ever seen it you know why it not only makes for an excellent Bond film but also a brilliant action film.

Fight Club

When I was but a teenager, an angry, not quite rebellious soul... Well at some point around when I turned 13 I thought I discovered an author called Chuck Palahniuk, the thing is I actually thought I had discovered him, like before that moment in time no one else had heard of him... Although the book shop was selling his books and this was in 2003, Fight Club had already been written, filmed and already made a modest return in the cinema although not being quite as successful as 20th Century Fox would have liked... Then becoming a cult classic on VHS/DVD... Where was I? Oh right, so I quite avidly read all of Palahniuk's bibliography up to that point obsessively, Invisible Monsters and Diary are by far my favourite of his but Fight Club was the one translated into a cinematic masterpiece. I'll grudgingly thank David Fincher for that, I never forgave him for the bloated and frankly awful Benjamin Button, but here he excels at creating a coherent and enjoyable adaptation of Palahniuk's book somehow making it even better than the book; now I must say the book has it's merits but it's very rare I find a film adaptation on a par or better than the original text, this one takes the cake. No lies. What more can I say about the film that hasn't already been said to someone trying to get you to watch this film? It has Brad Pitt in it, back when he was a beautiful sculpture of man, not some bearded self-important ponce. I also actually liked Edward Norton in it, you know before he became an old self-important ponce. Why is this film great? Because it has a distinct vibe, a feeling of disillusionment, a desire to break the norm of the disappointing hum-drum day to day, to feel something more, to be something more than what you have come to expect. It's all of course from a masculine view point and this is where the film takes itself far too seriously. We are lead to believe that the disillusioned are being led by a criminally insane schizophrenic mastermind and the film consistently tries to ensure us that this could be possible. It's not, it's hilarious nonsense but the fact that it takes itself so achingly seriously is amusing in itself, it has time to laugh a little but not enough, so I find myself laughing at Tyler Durden pontificating and the reality of Brad Pitt being the exact thing Durden is railing against. The inclusion of the unhinged Marla Singer, played to perfection by Helena Bonham Carter, somewhat gives us a reprieve, there are women damaged enough in the world to fall for those insane lunatics roaming around too, watching her performance is heartbreaking as she tries to grapple with the man she seems to care about somewhat and lets trample all over her, and yet the film plumbs humour from her confusion. It's all so gleefully ridiculous and most importantly immoral! Hence why it's fun... The best part of the film is the translation the fact that Palahniuk himself admitted he only decided midway through the book to have the two characters be one person means the suspension of disbelief is even harder to grasp, the film visually tries to ensure the twist isn't quite as baffling and as hard to believe when it is finally revealed. Palahniuk himself believes the end of the film surpasses that of his book, with the Pixies singing Where is My Mind, it is, plus it's much more fun.

Lost in Translation

Ah... Sofia Coppola*, daughter of Francis Ford Coppola, progeny of one of the most influential families in Hollywood, no surprises she chose this as her profession. Of course having film coursing through your genes doesn't necessarily make you talented, you need a lot of things to craft a good film, a film that will inspire, that will be cherished and loved. There are several reasons this film is a head and shoulders above the rest of Sofia Coppola's filmography, it has a personal connection**, it has heart, it takes place in Japan, predominantly Tokyo which is stunning, the soundtrack is impeccably chosen, and most importantly, crucially, unforgettably, it has Bill Murray, my man. I know I spent a long time ranting about the brilliant Sam Rockwell but there isn't an actor out there that I have the same affection for as I do Bill Murray, the man is a legend. He is perfection, he is ... I'll be gushing if I continue, you can't understand how much I love the man, it's a personal thing, butt out. It took a long time to realise this but I realised what Sofia Coppola's other films were missing: Charisma. Luckily Bill Murray has that in spades, he also has unsurpassed acting skill. The film is minimalist in the fact that there is barely any story, it's just two people bumping into one another in a Tokyo hotel and gradually making a connection through their shared loneliness and disconnection. It trundles along at a leisurely pace and the thing that keeps your attention that grows and develops is the relationship between Bob and Charlotte, Charlotte being played by Scarlet Johansson. Everything about this film is understated, the performances, the direction, the music, the story, it's a subtle piece of cinema and it's just beautiful. The best thing is watching Bill Murray propel the film with his wearied expression, his lost eyes, his warmth and charisma... And without fail I will be reduced to tears at the end of this film, every time, it's the only film I will ever cry at the end. The tears aren't sad, they are happy, tears of understanding, because you don't want something so comforting, so beautiful to end, similar to the protagonists perhaps. Jesus and the Mary Chain kicks in with Just Like Honey, I'm a blubbering mess, it's one of my favourite films because I feel something.

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Ah hello Charlie Kaufman, my old bud. I may have mentioned it previously, Kaufman will forever hate this movie because Clooney essentially ruined it. Well, he changed it, significantly, I'm not going to complain, it was a great film, a largely ignored one, but a film I adore, it has the Kaufman flair, but it also has a visual assuredness, essential when translating a Kaufman screenplay to the big screen. Clooney's directorial debut, his best outing as a director I believe, mainly because he's not a massive integral piece of any part of the film, it would fall apart without Kaufman's screenplay and Rockwell's performance, I believe. Goodnight and Good Luck would follow which was a very impressive take on Edward R Murrow's attack against Senator McCarthy in the 50s, ah them were the days, and that was a good film, then it all went downhill, Leatherheads was rubbish and Ides of March painfully unimpressive and somewhat angering in it's standpoint, my feminist fury flaired watching that film. Luckily in Confessions he gets so many things right. It's stylistic, it's audacious, it's unbelievable, it's hilarious and ridiculous but it takes itself soooo seriously. The whole thing is one long deadpan joke, the humour comes from the fact that it is trying to make you believe it is telling a true story. I'm a massive fan of the 60s/70s, it was such a tumultuous period and this encapsulates the insanity going on at the time. A basic explanation, I'll try and give the film a running start to entice people to watch it. Chuck Barris, an idiot born in the 50s falls into the decades of opportunity and tries to forge a career in television mainly because he figures that will get him laid, this is his sole purpose for the first segment of his existence. He comes up with an idea for a dating show, it's Blind Date, three prospective partners behind a screen, a contestant asks them questions then chooses one to go on a date with all without seeing their face. Man wasn't that a good show? I miss Cilla Black... Anyhoo it doesn't get picked up straight away, there are set backs, he meets George Clooney who then has him trained as an assassin/secret spy... He gets the show produced finally and hey presto he's living a double life with Drew Barrymore being his lover throughout. The twist is when the show gets picked up they have to give it a more exciting prize, they send the couples on holidays, and Chuck gets the joy of chaperoning them and of course committing some murders for the US government while he's abroad; perfect alibi, hilarious even! Anyways he continues to make television and his secret agent life unravels as it turns out there's a mole. Did I mention Chuck Barris is a real person who claims this is actually what happened to him? Of course it's beyond far fetched, but it's so deliciously over the top, so beyond stupid, so stylishly done, it's just brilliant to watch! Anyways, I can't say much more so I'll leave it at that, it's such a good film though! And one of my least successful, shame!

Science of Sleep

Now here is another romance film, this time by Michel Gondry, what a surprise! Not quite as fully realised as Charlie Kaufman's outing, but this is a more personal affair for the director. It's a bilingual film too which can be disorientating but Gondry himself is French, I say it's personal because it's more interested in a fatally flawed main character who can't discern reality from dream and who's imagination is a bizarre and intensely creative place. Unfortunately for Gael Garcia Bernal (playing the lead character Stephane) it causes trouble for his burgeoning relationship with Indie cinema darling Charlotte Gainsbourg (she's called Stephanie, coincidence, no?) There isn't a plot so much as Stephane hurtling through a brief stint as a calendar constructor (or something... I haven't watched the film in a long time, so sue me, it's still a favourite of mine) and trying to flirt with his neighbour in the adjoining flat. He is dangerously creative and magical but also paranoid, lost, lonely and a sensitive soul. It's all you could want from a Gondry film, defiantly whimsical and creative and painfully cruel. Stephane can't seem to discern reality from his dreams and bulldozes through the film, all you want if for him and Stephanie to see each other, you just want them to be happy, but the painful reality is that perhaps Stephane can't be happy or satisfied, even in his dreams, it's a shame but it's a truth, it's a possibility, it's an interpretation, it's a film about dreams and life. This is a film that needs to be seen rather than explained I'm afraid, so hop to it.***

Eagle VS Shark

Another not so successful film! To be fair it's from New Zealand, Taiki Waititi is the director writer of this film, I've mentioned him on here previously, I have a bottomless fondness for the man, I have yet to see his most recent film 'Boy' but literally am itching to see it, it's the highest grossing film in New Zealand ever, or something to that effect. Anyways he's hopped over to the US and has recently been directing the US Inbetweeners, horrifically bad translation but we've all got to start somewhere! Plus his signature affection for the oddballs of the world permeate through, as well as his warm unique sense of humour, you know, when the jokes aren't being ripped from the British original... Anyways, to give this film an explanation, it's been frequently compared to Napoleon Dynamite for it's humour because it has a bizarre family, awkward conversations and a story which is practically the most pointless/mundane life thing ever. To compare it to Napoleon Dynamite does this film a massive disservice, this film is fucking amazing and I won't have it tarnished by having it even compared to that American garbage. Ok, I'm exaggerating, Napoleon Dynamite is stupid, Eagle VS Shark has layers, layers of emotion, there is a respect for the characters throughout, sure they are stupid, but their feelings are acknowledged and we are shown some growth through the progress of the film. Of course I have watched this film about 15 times so I know the script and the beats inside and out, but the fact is, I know and care about the characters, this is the closest I get to watching a rom-com when I want to sit with some ice cream, wrapped up in a blanket with the lights low, this is my relaxing need a cheer up film. It's so close to life, but there is a happy whimsical layer over the pains and realities of existence, doesn't stop the fact that these people are dealing with some pretty hard shit, but they all choose to battle on through life without any explanation and yet you can understand their actions. Did I mention this was a stupid film? In fact if anyone watched it they'd think it was weird and pointless and most importantly soooo awkward, but I seriously love this film. The main pair are played by Jarrod (Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords fame - awesome show!!!) and Lily (Loren Horsley - hilariously enough Taika Waititi's wife.) It's fun because Taika Waititi and Jemaine used to be a comedy duo together and are close friends, and of course there is the scene where Jemaine gets to make out with his best friend's wife in front of him, the scene itself is fist bitingly awkward but it's even moreso when you think about the real life implications. Oh and the romance? It's about accepting someone for their flaws, loving someone unconditionally even though they are a jackass, because when you love someone you love everything about them and accept them for who they are, which is something Lily does for Jarrod, she loves him for him. He of course doesn't really realise this but that's because he's a bit of an ignorant tool, but he also develops feelings for her even if he doesn't quite notice until it's almost too late, what's important is that it isn't, and they get together and love each other regardless. It's an imperfect little love story about imperfect people living boring lives, but it literally never fails to put a smile on my face. Why? Because being loved by someone is awesome!****

Wall.E.

Another film about love, because I'm a big softie at heart, except this one is about robots! And a bunch of other stuff, namely the future! Most importantly though, it's a love story! I really don't think there is much to say about Wall.E. that hasn't already been said... I fear I'm being painfully obvious by sticking it on my list... To be honest I couldn't give a stuff. Pixar haven't quite recovered from the impressive one, two punch of Wall.E. and Up, but if this is their best then god help me, I can live quite happily knowing this was created. It's a great film, I could watch Wall.E. and EVE roam around bouncing off one another in endless space until I died, it would be satisfying way to go. To be fair it's the first 40 minutes of the film which put it in my top 10 list, the fact that there is next to no dialogue and we are essentially watching robots wordlessly interact and roam about a wasteland whilst still being undeniably entertained is just mind-boggling and brilliant! Plus the inclusion of the Hello Dolly soundtrack is fun yet apt for the film, it goes as far as cementing Wall.E. as an old style traditional chum slash robot. Funny fact, I honestly thought he might not make it at the end, you know in the cinema, I actually cried, not something I do in the cinema, I actually wailed, 'NOOO WALL.E!!!' Jokes... I'm not that lame... Or am I?

Donnie Darko

Aha! Bet you didn't see this one coming! It was either this or Moon and with a tear in my eye and hint of regret in my heart, this one won out. Richard Kelly would go on to prove that less is more with the frankly baffling and pointless Director's Cut, and of course ruin his reputation with the unfathomably bad Southland Tales, but when I watched Donnie Darko for the first time I honestly thought it was the best film I'd ever seen. I was 14 and it was £3 in a music shop, it was cheaper than a CD and I figured I wouldn't be allowed to buy it being under the restricted age of 15. Luckily I wasn't asked for proof of my age and I watched this film with the honest opinion it was a teen comedy. Oh good god how wrong I was, but the first half hour had me honestly in stitches, if your expectations for this film are nil, then this film is possibly the weirdest most hilarious thing you will ever see. If you find such things as men in bunny suits predicting the end of the world somewhat humorous? You don't? My mind is clearly diseased. Well it was a good day for me, finding this film and then proceeding to insist every person I knew watched it so we could all dissect how truly awesome it actually was. Sure there is some weird wormhole-speak, and the time travel aspects are pretty damn bizarre, but the teen angst, the insane Jake Gyllenhaal, the fact you can watch it again and again and notice tiny minute details which seem completely significant to the purpose of the plot as Donnie Darko hurtles towards his own personal apocalypse make it strangely satisfying film. Of course don't watch the Director's Cut, it begins to de-construct the mystery of the plot by trying to explain itself further and just not making much sense, did I mention less is more? I've never been more impressed by the editing of a film, in fact this film makes it into this list simply by being the best edited film, an award will be sent in the post. The mood of the film, the whole 80s vibe, the fact that it's all so surreal and so twisted just make it so much fun. Trust me, it's just a film worth seeing, there was a point where everyone in my year at school asked 'Have you seen Donnie Darko?' And I would tell them of course, 'I watched it first fools!' No one ever believed me though...

*Married to Spike Jonze who joins her on my list, coincidence, no?  Unfortunately they divorced in 2003 and she would later marry Thomas Mars from the band Phoenix who feature heavily in her soundtracks. She is embroiled in films this woman. 

** I'm making this a footnote for no reason at all but it's based on her father adverstising something in a foreign country, my brain has blanked, I think it was in Japan and it was a whiskey too... Damn my brain.

***To believe is to see, so see this, the Trailer is the best way to explain and to see.

**** I Love You, Awesome - The Phoenix Foundation, Eagle VS Shark OST. Just because.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Now here is something that surprised me, despite everyone's grumbling across the world over, I actually liked this film. Trust me, no one was more surprised than me. Overall, I could full accept that it was going to be a trilogy, I acknowledged that it was going to be stretched out to ridiculous degrees, therefore there would be a lot of padding. Fine, I expected this. To be completely honest it didn't matter to me when it became apparent there was going to be three films, it seems quite bizarre given the length of The Hobbit, making a trilogy in comparison to turning three books into three films. But hey, why not? It's happening! Which also brings us to another known blatant problem; it's a children's book, this differs massively in tone to Lord of the Rings. So the tone is a bit more light hearted, there are thirteen dwarves roaming around with a mad old wizard and the titular hobbit, sure there is a mission at hand, it's pretty high stakes for the dwarves, but it's painfully obvious that the film is stretching out their adventure to the nth degree and make it somewhat perilous. Peter Jackson is trying to make it an epic (god that word is far too overused in cinema lately...) adventure for the masses, but to be perfectly honest it's going to be more fun this time round, at least it felt like that. There are subplots and allusions to the future trilogy, there is even a song, and a lot of trotting about, oh and ponies!

But to be perfectly honest, I wasn't bothered that they felt the need to drag everything out, it was still enjoyable. I can't be more plain than that, I was happy to watch the adventure take place before me. Of course the amount of peril you can put your merry band of dwarves in is immediately hampered by the fact that you know, as far as children's stories go, they will all get to the end and face the dragon two movies later. It's a blatant fact in Hollywood films you need your lead characters to get to the end unscathed so they'll survive ridiculous odds and situations over and over, usually that would irritate the hell out of me, for example in Prometheus, that irritated the hell out of me, well... the whole film irritated me. This time it didn't bother me, at all! I was just enjoying the adventure.

There is quite a simple fact that kept me from losing interest in this film. Ian McKellen. I could happily watch three hours of that man eating crumpets in an armchair and talking about the weather, in fact that would be an awesome film... At school the teacher had a tape of Ian McKellen reading Coleridge's The Rime of the Ancyent Marinere, it was a great poem but my god hearing that man's voice made the whole thing just click in my brain so much better, his voice is entrancing... Gandalf the Grey is one of his best roles, in my mind's eye I can't see any other face as him, he embodies the role so well, it's just satisfying to see a great actor work his magic.

Martin Freeman worked brilliantly as Bilbo Baggins, once again he was pretty much acting a role he was very much comfortable in and it showed. Then there was the whole dwarf crew, there was a the King Dwarf, Thorin, there was the old wizened dwarf who was his right hand man, there was James Nesbitt, 'Fili and Kili', one of them was very attractive is all I can remember, the big scary bald one... Then the rest kind of merge into an amalgamation odd beards and hairstyles. Then the returning cast, Hugo Weaving playing a happy to help Elrond, Cate Blanchett reappears as the mystical Galadriel, then Christopher Lee is carted out as Saruman. Let's be completely honest, their scenes were a little bit superfluous but it was nice to see them all bouncing off each other. Christopher Lee, is pretty old now, he could barely stand when they gave him his lifetime achievement award at the BAFTAs, they even CGIed all of his wrinkles away!* The scene with Galadriel and Gandalf just reminded me how much I love watching Ian McKellen talk to anyone, do anything, stand about in a sunset... Andy Serkis also reprieved his role as Gollum in a brilliant scene between him and Bilbo. I'll never understand quite how they do it but it was so much fun, Gollum was as always dangerously insane and his game with the Hobbit even prompted a few laughs from the cinema.

Then there was the whole 48fps thing. I went to see it in 3D but I also assume it was that 48fps thing too, to be completely honest I wasn't at all bothered by it, it looked beautiful which also made the three hours somewhat worth it. The entire thing was just really wonderful to behold, a cinematic experience to say the least, sometimes the glasses irritated me, as they always do and I spent a few scenes with them dangling around my chin, but apart from that my eyes didn't melt and my brain wasn't bothered at all, I'm actually a little disappointed I can't complain more about this thing. Everyone seems so worked up about it! I noticed nothing, it was just really visually amazing and I couldn't fault it, shame.

Familiarity is something that I find quite comforting, a lot of people do, we hate change. Well I know I do... So sitting for three hours watching this film was enjoyable because I pretty much knew what was going to happen, it's blatantly obvious, Bilbo was definitely going to go on a journey with Gandalf, the thirteen dwarves were all going to be stupid and a rambling bunch, there would be a lot of trotting across various strange and wonderful landscapes, there would be some battles of some description, everyone would survive, Gandalf would be awesome. So in all nothing was surprising, but it was all still entertaining! I was entertained! It was enjoyable. Once you get over the fact that they are simply stretching out a really short story to ridiculous degrees, once your eyes adjust to the 48fps, once you accept the tone is going to be a bit of a mess, once you leave your logical thinking mind at the door and just sit and observe the film it's a good way to spend a few hours. The hours weren't wasted, it felt like a genuinely fun way to spend my precious time, and money.

'The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey' pretty much does what it set out to do, it sets up the first chapter of three, it reintroduces a bunch of old characters and gives us a multitude of fun new ones, sets up a new adventure, leaves some threads dangling for the next chapters. There are thrills and spills, there is plenty of Gandalf! Being prepared to dislike a film and then finding myself pleasantly surprised is a nice feeling and that's pretty much it. I was more than prepared to skewer this film and find reasons to complain but to be honest I didn't, I liked it, and finding things that I genuinely like is a hard task in this world.

*I know it's probably just make up, but my brain just immediately jumped to CGI when I noticed how good Christopher Lee looked. To be fair considering it's supposed to be earlier they all looked pretty good...

Seven Psychopaths

Let me start with one thing before I get into the nitty gritty of the talking about this film. I adore Sam Rockwell, he is a bloody magnificent actor. He stars in two of my top ten list films, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (Charlie Kaufman features heavily in my favourite film list, also directed by George Clooney, no matter how angry Kaufman was with what Clooney did with the final cut, it was still an amazing film.) And Moon (Duncan Jones first feature film, stunning in so many ways.) Then there is the rest. He starred as the reliably hilarious Zaphod Beeblebrox in the newest film adaptation of The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - by no means a perfect adaptation but still lots of fun. The same can be said for his leading role in Choke, a Chuck Palahniuk adaptation which was... By all standards a fine adaptation, nowhere near perfect or even remotely entertaining; the best part was definitely Sam Rockwell, although a small shout out should go to Angelica Houston... *sigh* Not all of Palahniuk's films can be made into films by David Fincher... Life isn't that kind.* I'll forgive him for Iron Man 2 and Cowboys and Aliens which I also sat through with the simple promise of seeing him, Sam Rockwell, you make my day, you make films good, your perfect smile and infectious charisma make me thankful that there are human beings who can actually act in the world. I have never once goaded you when watching your movies, I have never once mocked your slack jawed attempts at trying to convey emotion with wide eyes and open mouth, because you have never given me reason to. You are perfection, you are fun, you are unique and impeccable I love you. Never change Sam Rockwell, keep being awesome, I'll always see your movies, because you sir, are awesome. I may be slightly inebriated whilst giving you a glowing recommendation, but when am I not on this blog?

So, I saw a film today, Seven Psychopaths, a film screenplay within a film, within someone's head, and a couple other people's version's of events. Let's just start with the glaringly obvious, it's a mixed up film. I'm once again going to fear that someone in the world will give me the old chestnut - too deep for you, but screw that. It's not a deep film if it doesn't manage to scratch the surface of anything. Speaking of Kaufman, this film seemed to be trying to evoke a kind of 'Adaptation' feeling with it's whole the making of a film within a film thing, but to be honest there is far too much else going on that the whole thing is such a disastrous mess. I have a lot more nice things to say about Sam Rockwell, I've saved all my vitriol for this film.

It's probably worth mentioning I didn't hate the film. It wasn't necessarily a bad film, it was definitely a bit of fun, forgettable fluff for the masses. Martin McDonagh's last directorial outing was 'In Bruges', it must have curried him a lot of favour as it was a well received film and a whole lot of fun. So I'll accept when the studios let him make this, and he had the likes of Woody Harrelson and Christopher Walken on board, not to mention my beloved Sam Rockwell, it was a pretty straight forward film to make. I know bad films are produced all the time, but did someone actually watch this film and think that it actually made sense? Did someone read the screenplay which intercuts screenplay ideas, dream sequences and past recollections into the mix as well as the straightforward storyline and think, yes, this is coherent. Because sitting in the cinema, on my own on the back row, with a very obnoxious couple beside me irritated that I was next to them in the corner where I presume they were hoping for some alone time, I was very distracted and uncertain what exactly what was going on. Rockwell tells a version of how he'd like the screenplay to end (it's a constant thread throughout the film, trying to write a screenplay called Seven Psychopaths.) and as much fun as it was watching the ridiculousness of it all play out, and in another greenlit action film, would probably most certainly have happened, I wondered what the bloody point was. And my god there was a lot of blood in this film. Don't get me wrong, I can grasp multiple time-lines and jumping about storylines happening out of order but this film wasn't doing something as clever, it seemed just happily content on going off on a tangent midway through several scenes, a lot of the characters would start gabbing and suddenly we're recounting something which has absolutely no relevance - I'm talking about the guy with the rabbit mainly...

Also there is the whole crux of the storyline, the film is based around Sam Rockwell and Christopher Walken stealing dogs and then returning them to reap the rewards from the relieved owners. They seemingly inadvertently steal the local psychopath's shih-tzuh and chaos ensues, although it wasn't inadvertent, Rockwell has a death wish and seems quite happy to orchestrate the seven psychopath screenplay in reality, playing the starring roles of two psychopaths and having it all kick off in the desert somewhere for absolutely no reason. The film spends half the time talking about itself too, as if the fact that it is referencing what is actually happening in the film  as it does is somewhat reverential or clever, it's not. They mention the fact that you can pretty much kill off women, do whatever you want to them, but you can't hurt the cute animals in films, and the film proceeds to treat the female characters abominably, they are barely more than one note and each barely get a scene and are barely given any dignity within the confines of their minor appearances. Why not subvert our expectations? Why not go against the grain? Why not use the female talent and prove to us that women are as good at doing more than being bitches, one note and the corpses in cinema? No? Is this the feminist part of me flaring? Most likely but that definitely itched me in the wrong place, even with Sam Rockwell's cheeky grin all over the place.

Look, I'm fine with seeing a blokey film, I've seen plenty, I've never had anything against them, and let's be honest out of the blokey films out there this one is at least trying to be something more... It's just not succeeding in being anything more than a forgettable mess in my eyes. It tried to reach for higher planes but it lost itself meandering around. The amount of deaths in the film didn't even shock me, in fact the only time I was genuinely shocked was when there was an explosion out of nowhere and it was just a car getting blown up. Nothing else evoked any kind of surprise from me.

The one scene in the film which was interesting to me, where I felt something was actually happening, something deep, something intense, was one in which barely any dialogue took place. Christopher Walken facing off with Woody Harrelson in a hospital waiting room and merely removing his cravat. Now that was worth the ticket price alone, I felt that, although there was some distracting fumbling taking place next to me.

So, to surmise, this film was a mess. I tend not write about films in a usual review manner, I just rant about them it would seem. The laughs were there, they mostly came from Sam Rockwell, also that cute dog, animal humour is such a low bearing fruit to grasp at but it works... Colin Farrell pleased me with his straight man alcoholic being propelled through the insanity, he's a bit hit and miss sometimes but in this he hit the right tone, trying to be a somewhat moral centre among psychopaths, he also emits a few laughs. I mentioned previously that Christopher Walken and Woody Harrelson had a great scene together, Woody is being exactly how I love Woody, Walken could have broken my heart in a better written film, in this he merely makes me smile sadly as the possibilities fly by. The rest? Tom Waits is a lunatic with a rabbit which to be honest the film could have jettisoned and been perfectly fine with. Then the women, Abby Cornish, Gabourey Sidibe, Olga Kurylenko? All criminally forgettable, ignore the posters/advertisements, not one of them have barely anything worth doing or saying in this film.

Overall? It's a stupid overwrought film with too much going on, and too little to care about, which to be honest is baffling considering the premise is quite simple. Idiots steal mafia bosses dog. It tries to even reach the heights of philosophical rumination when it queries heaven and hell, but you just can't take it seriously with all the carnage and idiocy taking place around it.

*Stupid film nerd thing but Clark Gregg directed/wrote the screenplay for Choke and also plays Agent Coulson in the Marvel universe films that are churned out at a regular pace. He was in Iron Man 2 which also had Sam Rockwell. *shrugs* I thought it was cool... 

Family

Funny thing happened today, well the other day. I lost my purse on a night out on the town five minutes after leaving my flat, takes great skill I know, had to cancel my cards. Had a blaring reminder I once again hadn't paid my rent on time. Rang my sister to send my new card to me as the bank still has my home address. Ended up sobbing about money - she asked me if I was ok, obviously this reduced me to a blubbering mess. Seriously, don't ever ask if I'm ok. She offered to give me money. I shouted at her until she rescinded the offer. It's what family is for, they are there to be a buffer against telling actual people your problems. As a unit my family react to problems by providing advice we ourselves don't take and waxing lyrical about the mystery of life, I wouldn't accept their help if they gave it. I would feel guilty taking from them.  Now I'm out of the house its my responsibility to take care of myself, not their's. Today I was tired from not sleeping and emotional from listening to Bob Dylan... Bad combo. Feel stupid, big surprise. This blog is getting more pointless by the day.

Inspiration

I love Bob Dylan. Not enough people appreciate him these days, especially not in my age group... Some people even go as far as asking 'Who?' when I speak of him. He was the voice of a generation, he is a mystery and a poet, and he is so many things to so many people. This is my favourite song by him, it's just a beautiful and sad. I can't serve Bob Dylan any justice with my paltry boring words...