September 2022

 I'm still chugging along. Sometimes I feel physically unwell, sometimes I just feel tired. I have the most amazing child growing up in front of me and she's running, laughing, talking and singing. She never ceases to amaze me. I'm keeping busy and trying not to worry but it's hard sometimes with lots of things happening beyond my control. I'm keeping my head up, mostly.

Mt streaming is going well but that means I haven't watched many movies since I have been just sticking to trashy or easy to watch TV on instead. We travelled for a bit in the past month and it gave me the opportunity to finish reading a book for the first time in forever, that was nice.

September

1/9 Married at First Sight UK (2)
3/9 Coco (2017)
6/9 Married at First Sight UK (2)
7/9 Great British Bake Off (1)
11/9 Who Governs Britain? Anthony King (2015) 352p
12/9 Married at First Sight UK (1)
13/9 Married at First Sight UK (1)
14/9 Married at First Sight UK (1) Great British Bake Off (1)
16/9 Do Revenge (2022)
17/9 Married at First Sight UK (2)
20/9 Married at First Sight UK (1)
21/9 Married at First Sight UK (1) Great British Bake Off (1)
22/9 Married at First Sight UK (1)
23/9 Married at First Sight UK (1)
24/9 Bedazzled (2000)
27/9 Married at First Sight UK (1)
28/9 Married at First Sight UK (1)
29/9 Married at First Sight UK (1)
30/9 Married at First Sight UK (1)

August 2022

 I'm barely keeping on top of this, it's almost embarrassing. We were unwell through most of the month and it got me down but I'm still trying my best and forever grateful that I have a happy and loving family. I'm all over the place. But I'm keeping busy. That's the main thing.

I thought I'd watched more but I suppose not. I did get to go to the cinema and see Brad Pitt and watch my favourite movies around my birthday. I also got the husband briefly interested in Elaine May which was fun.

August

1/8 The First Monday in May (2016) Love Island: Finale! (1)
3/8 Aloners (2021)
5/8 Persuasion (2022)
7/8 The Bob’s Burgers Movie (2022)
8/8 Bullet Train (2022)
9/8 Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
10/8 Barb & Star Go to Vista Del Mar (2021)
11/8 Uncharted (2022)
12/8 The Broken Hearts Gallery (2020)
14/8 My Fake Boyfriend (2022)
16/8 Moonfall (2022)
18/8 Inside the Mind of a Cat (2022) Look Both Ways (2022)
20/8 Hustlers (2019)
25/8 A New Leaf (1971)
27/8 Ishtar (1987)
31/8 Charade (1963) Married at First Sight UK (2)

July 2022

 I can't say much about this month outside of... I've been watching Love Island and I am so glad it's over. Baby is walking and singing, kind of talking. She knows numbers, colours, songs, commands, the word 'no'. It's all very entertaining, she's a little precocious person now with a head full of curls. 

In other news I managed to do two long streams where I spent 10 hours each time speedrunning Final Fantasy IX, both of which were exhausting but kind of great in their own ways. They took a lot out of me but I'm glad I tried. I'm not at the top of any leaderboards but it felt like an achievement even if it was a small one.

July

1/7 Love Island (1)
2/7 The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (2007)
4/7 Love Island (2)
6/7 Love Island (2)
7/7 Love Island (1)
8/7 Love Island (1)
9/7 Thor: Love & Thunder (2022)
10/7 Love Island (1)
11/7 Love Island (1)
12/7 Love Island (1)
13/7 Love Island (1)
14/7 Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
15/7 Stranger Things (1) Love Island (2)
16/7 Love Island (1)
18/7 Love Island (2)
19/7 Love Island (1)
21/7 Love Island (2)
22/7 The Gray Man (2022)
23/7 This Much I Know to Be True (2022) Love Island (1)
25/7 Love Island (1) Jumanji (1995)
27/7 Love Island (3)
28/7 The Outfit (2022) Love Island (1)
29/7 Not Okay (2022)
30/7 The Proposal (2009)
31/7 Love Island (1)

June 2022

 Baby is walking! And singing a lot of songs (including Baby Shark). She continues to amaze me. Life is trundling along and I've had a drink while I'll type this so I'm feeling generally good. I've got the next load of coursework to do, I've got a full day off work and free of childcare to do a full speedrun of Final Fantasy IX (11th July). I keep getting very excited and nervous about it.

Otherwise Love Island has started again and my husband has been playing a game and when we've had evenings together we've been trying to watch Stranger Things so the TV has been occupied and I've not had much time left to watch movies. It'll get better once I stop watching trash TV.

June

1/6 Stranger Things (1)
3/6 Sullivan’s Travels (1941)
4/6 Fake History: Ten Great Lies and How They Shaped the World Otto English (2021) 334p
6/6 Ocean’s Eleven (2001)
8/6 Love Island (1) Stranger Things (1)
9/6 Love Island (2) The Boys: Season 3 (1)
10/6 Love Island (1) The Boys (3)
11/6 Love Island (1) To Catch a Thief (1955)
12/6 Top Gun (1986)
13/6 Love Island (1) Barry (1) Jurrassic Park: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
14/6 Love Island (1) It Happened One Night (1934)
15/6 Love Island (1)
16/6 Love Island (2) Strangers Things (1)
17/6 Love Island (1)
18/6 Stranger Things (1)
19/6 Love Island (1)
20/6 Love Island (2) Stranger Things (1)
22/6 Love Island (1)
24/6 Love Island (2)
25/6 The Flight Attendant (1)
27/6 Love Island (1) Strangers Things (1)
29/6 Love Island (2)
30/6 Love Island (1)

May 2022

I want to say that I am feeling better this month, I feel like every time I write this I'm sad. but I want to say that I have good and sad moments. My mood bounces back and forth depending on how much I've slept or eaten. It's fine but I'm a bit worried about baby teething, again, I swear to god, this had better be the last lot of teeth, how many more teeth could she possibly need, I mean really? Also coursework deadline is next week thankfully. That has been hard.

I will say that my foray into Twitch has been, I guess more intense than I anticipated. I have managed, for a really long time, to maintain a somewhat healthy approach to people and relationships in real life. It took me a really long while to feel okay not like a failure when it came to human interactions. Now it feels like I'm re-learning all that again with Twitch. I'm such an insecure person and it takes me a long time to process things, this much I know about myself. So once again I'm vacillating between regretting everything I do and say and also feeling like everything is going so super well until the moment has passed and I'm alone with my thoughts. None of this makes sense... I'm just enjoying it but I'm also constantly terrified I'm doing something wrong. It's a heady mix and I know I'll find a balance. As with everything else, it takes time.

May

1/5 Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
2/5 Barry (1) Teenage (2013)
5/5 Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) Moon Knight (3)
6/5 Death on the Nile (2022)
9/5 Bringing up Baby (1938)
11/5 Barry (1) Savages (2012)
12/5 In the Aisles (2018)
13/5 Saving Face (2004)
15/5 The Worst Person in the World (2021)
19/5 Burn Burn Burn (2015)
19/5 Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
21/5 Zero Fucks Given (2021)
23/5 Ali & Ava (2021)
25/5 Ishtar (1987)
29/5 Stranger Things: Season 4 (1)
30/5 Barry (3) Seth Meyers: Lobby Baby (2019)

April 2022

It's another bank holiday! It mostly just means that I get to spend extra days with baby which is fine but more tiring than anything, she's thinking about walking, mostly crawling, always in constant motion. Lately I've managed to make it to Affiliate on my Twitch channel (over here) which has been a lovely surprise more than anything given I only manage to get a couple of hours in every few nights practising speedrunning my favourite game, Final Fantasy IX. Otherwise I'm doing my coursework for a certificate at work which is more complicated than I expected. So I'm full of busy which is a nice feeling. I just don't get to sit down and watch stuff which was always something I thought I'd never tire of doing.

Things keep changing but I'm learning more about myself as I go. Plus keeping busy means I don't have  enough time to feel sorry for myself or let my doubts cloud my judgement. I just have to keep going and hope for the best. Plus I sit and watch old movies or dumb ones with my partner when we get the chance and it's lovely.

1/4 The Bubble (2022)
3/4 Bridgerton (2)
4/4 Bridgteron (1)
7/4 Bridgerton (1)
9/4 The Philadelphia Story (1940)
11/4 Barry (2)
14/4 Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)
16/4 Moon Knight (1)
18/4 You Don’t Nomi (2019)
21/4 Moon Knight (1)
22/4 Toni Erdmann (2016) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)
23/4 White Hot: The Rise & Fall of Abercrombie & Fitch (2022) The Souvenir (2021)
26/4 Barry: Season 3 (1) Moon Knight (1)
29/4 His Girl Friday (1940)

March 2022

 I had such big ideas... I had plans... But I feel like I have no time to do anything lately. I wanted to watch movies, speedrun my favourite game, read books and... I don't know, have adventures of some description. But I feel like I never have enough time. I'm always distracted or tired.

I shouldn't be writing this right now, I'm very tired and anxious about the coming weeks and that's put me in a low mood. It seems like I get pockets of happiness which are brilliant and fleeting and then everything falls back into place. A place of fatigue and uncertainty. I shouldn't worry, things are going well. I just wish I had more time to relax but then I feel guilty if I do ever get time for myself. I suppose that's the curse of being a mother.

March

1/3 Monster Hunter (2020)
2/3 Lamb (2021)
3/3 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (1)
5/3 Double Indemnity (1944)
10/3 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (1)
11/3 The Batman (2022)
12/3 The Weekend Away (2022)
15/3 Turning Red (2022)
17/3 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (1)
19/3 Deep Water (2022)
20/3 Fresh (2022)
21/3 Cheaper by the Dozen (2022)
22/3 Taylor Tomlinson: Look at You (2022)
23/3 Ali Wong: Don Wong (2022)
26/3 Bridgerton: Season 2 (2) Baggage Claim (2013)
28/3 Bridgerton (1)
30/4 Bao (2018)
31/4 Boiling Point (2021)