Let me start with one thing before I get into the nitty gritty of the talking about this film. I adore Sam Rockwell, he is a bloody magnificent actor. He stars in two of my top ten list films, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (Charlie Kaufman features heavily in my favourite film list, also directed by George Clooney, no matter how angry Kaufman was with what Clooney did with the final cut, it was still an amazing film.) And Moon (Duncan Jones first feature film, stunning in so many ways.) Then there is the rest. He starred as the reliably hilarious Zaphod Beeblebrox in the newest film adaptation of The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - by no means a perfect adaptation but still lots of fun. The same can be said for his leading role in Choke, a Chuck Palahniuk adaptation which was... By all standards a fine adaptation, nowhere near perfect or even remotely entertaining; the best part was definitely Sam Rockwell, although a small shout out should go to Angelica Houston... *sigh* Not all of Palahniuk's films can be made into films by David Fincher... Life isn't that kind.* I'll forgive him for Iron Man 2 and Cowboys and Aliens which I also sat through with the simple promise of seeing him, Sam Rockwell, you make my day, you make films good, your perfect smile and infectious charisma make me thankful that there are human beings who can actually act in the world. I have never once goaded you when watching your movies, I have never once mocked your slack jawed attempts at trying to convey emotion with wide eyes and open mouth, because you have never given me reason to. You are perfection, you are fun, you are unique and impeccable I love you. Never change Sam Rockwell, keep being awesome, I'll always see your movies, because you sir, are awesome. I may be slightly inebriated whilst giving you a glowing recommendation, but when am I not on this blog?
So, I saw a film today, Seven Psychopaths, a film screenplay within a film, within someone's head, and a couple other people's version's of events. Let's just start with the glaringly obvious, it's a mixed up film. I'm once again going to fear that someone in the world will give me the old chestnut - too deep for you, but screw that. It's not a deep film if it doesn't manage to scratch the surface of anything. Speaking of Kaufman, this film seemed to be trying to evoke a kind of 'Adaptation' feeling with it's whole the making of a film within a film thing, but to be honest there is far too much else going on that the whole thing is such a disastrous mess. I have a lot more nice things to say about Sam Rockwell, I've saved all my vitriol for this film.
It's probably worth mentioning I didn't hate the film. It wasn't necessarily a bad film, it was definitely a bit of fun, forgettable fluff for the masses. Martin McDonagh's last directorial outing was 'In Bruges', it must have curried him a lot of favour as it was a well received film and a whole lot of fun. So I'll accept when the studios let him make this, and he had the likes of Woody Harrelson and Christopher Walken on board, not to mention my beloved Sam Rockwell, it was a pretty straight forward film to make. I know bad films are produced all the time, but did someone actually watch this film and think that it actually made sense? Did someone read the screenplay which intercuts screenplay ideas, dream sequences and past recollections into the mix as well as the straightforward storyline and think, yes, this is coherent. Because sitting in the cinema, on my own on the back row, with a very obnoxious couple beside me irritated that I was next to them in the corner where I presume they were hoping for some alone time, I was very distracted and uncertain what exactly what was going on. Rockwell tells a version of how he'd like the screenplay to end (it's a constant thread throughout the film, trying to write a screenplay called Seven Psychopaths.) and as much fun as it was watching the ridiculousness of it all play out, and in another greenlit action film, would probably most certainly have happened, I wondered what the bloody point was. And my god there was a lot of blood in this film. Don't get me wrong, I can grasp multiple time-lines and jumping about storylines happening out of order but this film wasn't doing something as clever, it seemed just happily content on going off on a tangent midway through several scenes, a lot of the characters would start gabbing and suddenly we're recounting something which has absolutely no relevance - I'm talking about the guy with the rabbit mainly...
Also there is the whole crux of the storyline, the film is based around Sam Rockwell and Christopher Walken stealing dogs and then returning them to reap the rewards from the relieved owners. They seemingly inadvertently steal the local psychopath's shih-tzuh and chaos ensues, although it wasn't inadvertent, Rockwell has a death wish and seems quite happy to orchestrate the seven psychopath screenplay in reality, playing the starring roles of two psychopaths and having it all kick off in the desert somewhere for absolutely no reason. The film spends half the time talking about itself too, as if the fact that it is referencing what is actually happening in the film as it does is somewhat reverential or clever, it's not. They mention the fact that you can pretty much kill off women, do whatever you want to them, but you can't hurt the cute animals in films, and the film proceeds to treat the female characters abominably, they are barely more than one note and each barely get a scene and are barely given any dignity within the confines of their minor appearances. Why not subvert our expectations? Why not go against the grain? Why not use the female talent and prove to us that women are as good at doing more than being bitches, one note and the corpses in cinema? No? Is this the feminist part of me flaring? Most likely but that definitely itched me in the wrong place, even with Sam Rockwell's cheeky grin all over the place.
Look, I'm fine with seeing a blokey film, I've seen plenty, I've never had anything against them, and let's be honest out of the blokey films out there this one is at least trying to be something more... It's just not succeeding in being anything more than a forgettable mess in my eyes. It tried to reach for higher planes but it lost itself meandering around. The amount of deaths in the film didn't even shock me, in fact the only time I was genuinely shocked was when there was an explosion out of nowhere and it was just a car getting blown up. Nothing else evoked any kind of surprise from me.
The one scene in the film which was interesting to me, where I felt something was actually happening, something deep, something intense, was one in which barely any dialogue took place. Christopher Walken facing off with Woody Harrelson in a hospital waiting room and merely removing his cravat. Now that was worth the ticket price alone, I felt that, although there was some distracting fumbling taking place next to me.
So, to surmise, this film was a mess. I tend not write about films in a usual review manner, I just rant about them it would seem. The laughs were there, they mostly came from Sam Rockwell, also that cute dog, animal humour is such a low bearing fruit to grasp at but it works... Colin Farrell pleased me with his straight man alcoholic being propelled through the insanity, he's a bit hit and miss sometimes but in this he hit the right tone, trying to be a somewhat moral centre among psychopaths, he also emits a few laughs. I mentioned previously that Christopher Walken and Woody Harrelson had a great scene together, Woody is being exactly how I love Woody, Walken could have broken my heart in a better written film, in this he merely makes me smile sadly as the possibilities fly by. The rest? Tom Waits is a lunatic with a rabbit which to be honest the film could have jettisoned and been perfectly fine with. Then the women, Abby Cornish, Gabourey Sidibe, Olga Kurylenko? All criminally forgettable, ignore the posters/advertisements, not one of them have barely anything worth doing or saying in this film.
Overall? It's a stupid overwrought film with too much going on, and too little to care about, which to be honest is baffling considering the premise is quite simple. Idiots steal mafia bosses dog. It tries to even reach the heights of philosophical rumination when it queries heaven and hell, but you just can't take it seriously with all the carnage and idiocy taking place around it.
*Stupid film nerd thing but Clark Gregg directed/wrote the screenplay for Choke and also plays Agent Coulson in the Marvel universe films that are churned out at a regular pace. He was in Iron Man 2 which also had Sam Rockwell. *shrugs* I thought it was cool...
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