Man of Steel

Superman is an icon, not because of his pants over spandex revolution, not because of his super-duper powers, but because as a man, he is all powerful and he stands for what is right. Now that's not down to where he is born or his genetics or anything like that, it's all down to his environment and well... some super powers to help him along the way. That environment? Well the guy was raised in small-town USA (Smallville - duh-doi!) and he is a product of what it is to be a hard-working, honest and good ole American, with all the values and plaid shirts that come with it. This is what makes Superman just so super, he is the best of America, replete with flying and indestructibility. Man of Steel works hard to create this impression for us, it almost just about rams it down our throats but it has other business too, cultivating Clark Kent's alien lineage.

If this had been a film just about Superman coming to be an all American man with an incredible gift working out his identity; throw in a threat which he can just about overcome by being the honest hardworking lovely guy he is, well we'd probably say it was boring and go home. To be honest this overblown piece of space ridiculousness was boring to me. This is supposed to be an origins story, throwing the biggest threat you can straight at Superman just seems like a waste and just too much, either have the biggest threat and concentrate on that, or let the origins story do the talking and break us in gently, doing both is... Well it's idiotic, but the way this is entire film went, it's not surprising. It spends a great chunk of it's time dispatching with any storytelling and just gives us mindless action sequences to yawn over - yup, what an origins story that is.

I feel like I know what Snyder and Nolan were trying to do, they had a core idea, part of that was mine, he's all American alien out to save the world from those who originated from the same birthplace. It was a good idea but the execution was... A mess. Oh Zack Snyder, I really keep trying to give you the benefit of the doubt by assuming your delectation for overblown action setpieces can be reigned in, especially when you have the likes of Christopher Nolan guiding you, but alas, senseless violence is what you truly seem to love above all else, and it might distract some people from the glaring dullness of your film, but not me. I did not enjoy this film, this disappoints me immensely. It's quite something to sigh and wonder if the next spray of smashing glass will be your last? Will it? Of course not! Will the fact that not one but two cities, probably more, are levelled in the space of the two hours phase you even slightly? It won't.

Nolan's hands are on this project and I will defend him in saying that Superman is a completely different kettle of fish to the Batman. Just to define it, Superman had a relatively healthy if traumatic upbringing with loving parents, he also has a shitload of superpowers, he is also an alien from another planet, but a corn-fed farm-boy, the comparisons are manifold, this is an entirely different set of foundations to work with than Batman, tortured billionaire playboy with an uncontrollable rage and a healthy bank balance to fund saving his corrupted city. But what was Nolan doing? Did he decide that sense had to go out of the window as well as any real plot? As far as origin stories go, this is one of the least coherent I have ever seen, not just because the film throws in random out of sequence flashbacks into the mix for kicks at any point it fancies. Where is Clark's emotional journey? Answer, there isn't one, not really, we just get a bunch of sequences telling us how he got to the point where General Zod arrives, but we don't see him grow, we just see bits and pieces of him reaching a certain point. It's just such a mess.

Don't get me started on the supporting characters. Lois Lane? Complete cipher, apart from her seeming loyalty to Superman because he helps people, or does things for the right reasons, she has no other reason to have any emotional attachment to him, the whole romance is a complete joke, putting two people within kissing distance of one another at several points does not a legitimate love story make! In fact, I still don't know why they kissed! Although, looking at him... But still! Perry White, now there's a character who needed absolutely no fleshing out, could have actually lasted the entire film without him but he's there just to remind us that people might actually be in a bit danger while everywhere is getting blown to shit, but only for about five minutes out of what feels like an hour of explosions. The Kents, well they are there to give Clark emotional bursts of energy it would seem, Martha should have been seriously injured but we'll let her off because she prompts a Superman rage fit. The Els? Lara, farewell to thee mother, you looked and sounded like a mother should... Jor-El? I have no idea what the hell you were doing at all in this film. Literally no discernible clue, you hurl yourself through Avatar/Gallifrey world and then you die and then... Well you just keep appearing for no reason other than to magically move the plot along, a walking deus ex machina. General Zod, I hate your beard.

Now the bile is gone, I feel I must mention something I did like in this film. The cape. The flying sequence was strangely a nice one for me, if only because I felt strangely happy watching it. More to the point it was just a nice simple sequence demanding nothing more than my enjoyment, nothing was blown to shit (much) and no one looked helplessly on, it was, dare I say, almost harmless fun. Also I now must invest in a long red cape and run around with my arms straight in front of me and my fists clenched, this will cheer me immensely...

Otherwise Man of Steel, what an absolute waste of my time. I felt like I had something important to say about this film but I suppose I did not. The action sequences went on far too long, any semblance of a plot made literally no impact, or sense, the fact that I didn't care what happened made the whole thing ring so hollow. Whatever message the film was trying to convey it failed when it just smashed and obliterated it's way through scene after scene of pointless bloodless violence. It was pointless draining nonsense. Nothing, not even Cavill's glorious cheekbones, can save this film from being soulless garbage.